Friday, October 24, 2008

Laugh

This video is awesome.  In the words of Ellen DeGeneres, "Laugh. Dance. Love."  Let's start with the laughing.  Here's to a great weekend, everyone!



Wednesday, October 22, 2008

My Big Break

And now for the newest addition to my past...a letter I wrote to Rosie O'Donnell.  And never sent.

October 18, 1998

Dear Rosie,

This is a tape I made at a small recording studio in Houston.  I live there, but I go to a boarding school in North Carolina.  Don't worry, I chose to come.  I wasn't a bad girl or anything like that.  I love your show and I've been wanting to be on it for a long time.  However, I've noticed that your show never seems to have kid talent with teenagers.  It generally only has little kids.  You see, it's my dream in life to become a Broadway star.  If I can't be that, then I really want to be a singer or do something with my music.  I've been singing for awhile.  I've also looked around for famous record labels to send a demo tape.  I just think that I need a big break somehow.  I love what you have done for the theatre in New York.  I think it's wonderful.  On this tape, I have recorded "The Fool" and "Part of Your World."  They are each on their own side  If you would, please listen to both of them and take them into consideration.  Thank you so much for your time.  I hope to hear from your show soon.

Helenita

This letter needs no explanation, but for those who don't know me, I'm gonna give one anyway.
  
I loved the Rosie O'Donnell show.  Just ask my mom, who unfortunately was forced to watch it every afternoon.  I watched her show back when she hadn't come out yet and instead declared her love for Tom Cruise at every available opportunity.

To be clear, I still love singing and, let's be honest, who wouldn't want to be a famous musician?  I admit my life would be easier if I had a bunch of money at my disposal and paparazzi snapping pictures of me doing something like picking my nose or my wedgie or forgetting to wear underwear...wait, what?  

I sing every chance I get...in the shower, in my car, in my room, at my sister's wedding, karaoke, etc.  I also sing in my office, much to the dismay of my co-workers.  So I guess all I'm trying to say is that although I don't have a career in music, I don't feel like I missed out on my dream.   I'm a celebrity in my own head.  Plus, I have my sisters and friends to capture those awkward moments on film anyway.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

The Fifteen Year-Old Philosopher

It's Saturday afternoon and I'm sitting here attempting to write my first official blog.  You might ask how it's possible for a soon-to-be 26 year-old to never have been exposed to this world of online communities before now.  And, unfortunately, the only answer I have to proffer is that I just simply never had an interest in it.  I, like many others, didn't see why anyone would be interested in what I have to say.  But now that I'm here, I guess there's not much left to do than introduce myself to you.

While mulling over what to write about for my first blog, I thought I'd take a walk down memory lane.  That lane ended up being a stack of journal entries which began at the young age of fourteen.  Ah, fourteen.  You know, the age where everything around you is awkward and you hate your siblings. Your parents, no matter what they have to say, are always being unreasonable. You're rebellious. And your body has decided to abandon you and any hope you may have had of ever being socially accepted.  Yes, fourteen...what a lovely age to be.

What better time than puberty to bring you all into my life?  So, here is a piece I wrote while at my high school Freshman Retreat, the day after my fifteenth birthday.  We were asked to write what our "oil" would be.  The problem is, I don't remember if this was an oil and water-type of situation or more of a "the oil that lights your ever-glowing candle" situation.  I decided to share this particular piece with you because not much has changed in the ten years since I wrote it.  I still wonder the same things and have the same ideas about love and friendship.  I still have the same difficulties I had at fifteen of leaving the past in the past and trying to enjoy the present.  Maybe this trip down memory lane just goes to show that while my situations and circumstances may have changed over time, I remain, at the core, the same...

November 3, 1997

My oil would have to be the love I have for others.  It sounds conceited, but it's true.  I have a hard time truly getting mad at someone.  Loving everyone isn't necessarily a good thing.  It's very hard for me sometimes because I don't or can't understand the things that people do.  For instance, I don't understand how someone can make fun of another who is less advantaged just to make him/herself happy.  To me, that's just unexplainable.  It's kind of like someone who loves to swim and someone who hates to swim.  Both sides don't understand why the other does or doesn't like to.

Sometimes I do look back on things and wonder why it happened.  Maybe I didn't love them enough.  Was I mean to them?  Or I look at what I'm doing now.  Why is it so hard if I love so much?  Is it because I love that it is hard?  I can't honestly say that I love everyone.  I don't dislike them, I just don't cope with what they're trying to say because our view points are completely different.  Even a more simple question like...why am I writing this?  I know how I feel.  Maybe I'm writing it because I can look at it later and see my thoughts and feelings written down and understand them more or even write more.  Some things are unexplainable.  Is this for God to read?  I thought God knew what was going on in our minds.  Why does my strength in love have to be a weakness in everything else?  No matter what, I will always have to come back and read this, but the questions will still be unanswered.

Why can't I find who my true friends are until I go away and come back?  I wish my life were not so filled with problems and questions.  Why do there have to be people who don't understand that when you love somebody, your love for them never dies?  When they stop loving you, you don't necessarily stop loving them?  People give me such a hard time with that.  Our love may not be as strong as it was before, but it will never die completely.

I should not contemplate on things of the past, for they only depress me more and more.  I would like to be able to be happy in the present, but it is so hard when the past isn't finished.  The future is a mystery, while the past is sometimes an unsolved mystery.

The present is just a mere image.